um, uh, you know, like
Welcome to this latest newsletter edition, where we explore what many…and perhaps, what most of us do is speak um using uh, you know, filler words. Like they could possibly um take over, like our everyday conversations… you know? Gasp…
Communication is my expertise as a public speaking coach, but I'm not immune to the occasional slip-up. Despite my best efforts, I sometimes catch myself and get caught using filler words unexpectedly. Recently, during a family trip to beautiful Kauai, while enjoying dinner at the new 1 Hotel in Hanalei Bay, I was captivated by the amazing ambiance, ocean view, and farm-to-table appetizers. During our table conversations, my adult daughter began to share a lively story, and I found myself intrigued. "Interesting," I replied, not wanting to interrupt her flow. Her eyes lit up, and she looked at me with a playful smile. "Do you find everything interesting?" she quipped. "Because the more you say it, the less convincing it becomes!" Yup, "interesting" had become an overused, meaningless word for me, which she thankfully brought to my attention. I also tend to conclude points with "right?" For example, saying, "What a beautiful flower, right?" And, unfortunately, "ums" still occasionally slip into my speech. It's time to get back to work on reducing my use of fillers. This is why I'm motivated and excited to share methods to reduce and possibly remove these speaking habits.
It’s easy to speak with filler words. We hear them repeatedly in conversations, movies, and media. We are also creatures of habit and can quickly adopt expressions and language nuances that we are frequently exposed to. The brain grasps familiar patterns, and filler words, widely used almost everywhere, are front in line to get “picked” as the chosen pattern. Fillers act as temporary placeholders, offering a brief respite as we gather our thoughts. Alas, this convenience comes at a cost – diminishing the impact and credibility of our speech. Have you ever found yourself focusing more on the excessive fillers used by someone than on the substance of their message?
The good news is that anyone can break free from the "filler word bandit's" grasp.
You can conquer these pesky menaces with awareness, determination, and the right tools.
This newsletter provides tools and insights to tackle this linguistic challenge head-on. It explores the psychology behind using filler words, uncovers their impact on speech, and delves into methods to eliminate them.
But here’s the kicker – and to be transparent – there’s unlikely a one-time fix. Overcoming filler words might require ongoing effort and practice to ensure you consistently speak with clarity. You’ll likely need to keep at it to stay on top of speaking clearly. But hey, that’s better than continuing to use fillers, like, excessively. You know?
Here's what you'll find here:
Fearlessly Speaking Facts
FUN, Filler Word Buster Exercise
Your Weekly/Daily Speaking Mantra
Featured Update
01. Fearlessly Speaking Facts
Curious about what causes filler word usage?
I found some cool insights into why they easily appear in conversations. Research shows that common causes of filler words are distraction, infrequent words, nervousness, and uncertainty. What’s more, when any of these causes are combined, filler word usage increases. Here's the line-up:
Distraction: Imagine this: you're up there giving a speech, all eyes on you, and suddenly, something unexpected distracts you. Oops! Your attention takes a little detour, and ta-da! Fillers jump in to keep the audience entertained while you regroup.
Unfamiliar/Infrequent Words: When faced with unfamiliar or infrequent words, your brain might go, "Whoa, where's that word hiding?" And guess what pops in to save the day? Yep, those reliable fillers! They step in while your brain searches for the right word to use.
Nervousness: Nervousness can also sometimes get the best of us, making our brains all jittery and worried about what others think. Those fillers pop up as a safety net, giving us a moment to catch our breath.
Uncertainty: Let's not forget about prep time. Without properly gathering our thoughts, those fillers might come to the rescue again. They're like supportive friends we can always count on.
Here's the best part: using filler words is normal and can be beneficial!Audiences have become accustomed to hearing and using filler words, making them less noticeable. Also, filler words can serve as a means of politeness. For instance, instead of responding to a conversation or question with an awkward and prolonged silence that might imply disinterest or inattentiveness, using a filler word can indicate that you have something to say and are actively contemplating your response.
Consider this:
“Listeners are not as harsh as they are made out to be.”
Relax and remember that we’re often our own worst critics. Plus, guess what? Staying calm and relaxed can reduce filler-word tendencies.
02. Fun, Filler Word Busting Exercise
Here’s a fun, repeat, fun exercise to minimize the use of filler words. I periodically do this myself and have used this with students and clients.
Do you remember making a game out of tongue twisters as a kid by repeating them as fast as possible without making a mistake? This non-sensical game helps improve articulation, pronunciation, and fluency. It also helps to reduce use of filler words - yay!
Here’s a few tongue twisters to get you started (repeat each phrase multiple times)
Here’s a few tongue twisters to get you started (repeat each phrase multiple times) Fearlessly Speaking Facts:
Which Swiss wrist watch
Fresh fried fish
Give Papa a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee cup
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
She sells seashell by the seashore
Have fun practicing with others – your kids, partner, or anyone. Invest in a tongue twister board game such as Tricky Tetra Tongue Twisters and Memory Games or make your own game by writing tongue twister phrases on cue cards, placing them in a jar and then randomly selecting one at a time to practice. Try also using AI tools such as Yoodli that offer similar speaking game exercises.
03. Your Weekly/Daily Speaking Mantra
Give this thought out for a try. Repeat it five times daily before giving a speech, and then remind yourself of this just before you speak:
"Pause, breathe, speak with intent."
This mantra reminds you to pause when needed, breathe to collect your thoughts and speak with purpose and clarity, reducing your reliance on filler words.